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Laws in your area may prevent you from using these recordings if you need to seek legal assistance, but you can inform others about the situation. Use your phone to record conversations.Summarize your conversations, with direct quotes when possible.Save or take screenshots of texts and emails.When they deny a conversation or event took place, you can go back and check the truth for yourself. grounding yourself with a photo, object, or visualization exerciseĭocumenting your interactions with someone trying to gaslight you can help you keep track of what’s really happening.If you can’t physically leave, try instead: Going for a walk or stepping outside briefly can help you clear your mind and refocus. To get some physical space, suggest taking a break and revisiting the topic later. Keeping calm can also help you focus on the truth, making it less likely that their (false) version of events will sway your confidence and faith in yourself. But they may not back down, and your distress can encourage them to keep trying to manipulate you. You might want to deny what the person trying to gaslight you has said - after all, it’s completely untrue. Remaining calm can help you handle the situation more effectively. It’s understandable to experience a lot of strong emotions when dealing with gaslighting.Īnger, frustration, worry, sadness, fear - these feelings, and any others, are all completely valid, but try not to let them guide your immediate reaction. When considering whether someone is trying to gaslight you, take stock of your feelings, not just their actions. “I don’t have time to listen to this” or “Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” may not be helpful responses, but they don’t always mean the other person wants to manipulate you. People can also gaslight unintentionally. Insisting “You’re wrong! I know what I’m talking about” isn’t necessarily polite, but it’s generally not gaslighting if they aren’t trying to manipulate you. People sometimes feel convinced of their own knowledge and insist they’re right, even when evidence suggests otherwise. So, someone who offers a different opinion than yours, even in a rude or critical way, isn’t necessarily gaslighting. The person gaslighting you generally wants you to doubt yourself and depend on their version of reality. True gaslighting develops into a repeated pattern of manipulation. Gaslighting isn’t always easy to recognize, especially since it often starts small, and other behaviors can sometimes seem similar.
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